Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize