OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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