Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
