God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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