it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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