your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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