people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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