I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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