anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
