We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
