Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize