My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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