you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
