The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
