Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
