How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
