I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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