Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
