Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
