You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
