ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we made out on top of his cat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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