there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
