And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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