Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize