so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
