I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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