Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
