Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
