what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I supernannyed him into submission
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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