I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
