I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
