I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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