she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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