He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
