pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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