what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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