Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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