like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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