she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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