thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped