remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
