good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.