in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.