It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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