shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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