Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
