i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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