I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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