Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize