Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
zippers are such a cool invention
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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