I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
