that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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