So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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