I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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