Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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