we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
