He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize