You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
home. puking in laundry basket.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
