What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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