But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
